The Tuesday that ...

The Tuesday that ...

The Tuesday that never was.  In love on my own. Never thought I would have to go at it alone.  You said that you would call, on Tuesday I waited, that Tuesday, many more Tuesdays, any given Tuesday.  For a while I waited every Tuesday, creatively coming up with every given excuse, of why it wasn’t meant to be.  Sometimes things don’t work out as we envision.  Things are not always idyllic. We create happy endings, speaking other's happiness to appease your own. Ingratiating yourself is just another form of self-aggrandizing. Love has proven that a heart can break, it can also heal.  The reconstruction is in the lesson of growth.  It’s rare that two people fall in love at the same time.  For me, my love continues to grow, even in a place where it’s not reciprocal. That Tuesday agreement call was more of an out, by saying what I wanted to hear, a quick escape for you into the oblivion. At this point, I have no ego left, your knee on my throat. I’ve applied every angle and aspect, to make you happy, in spite of my own. The sacrifice proving once again that it’s time to move on.  The friends were never in favor of you,  now they have clearly grown tired of my groans.  Why am I idle, the last-ditch effort for a problem that was never interested in being solved.  A dog is a dog, leopard spots don’t change. 

Truthfully you have worn the ‘asshole’ tag before on several occasions, those were great deserving people, yet you choose to sleep on those who loved you the hardest, they had your heart, front and back.  Unfortunately for your self righteous ass, that wasn’t the lane that you wanted to be in. Guess what? had you chosen to allow their love in, you would not be sitting in your office pretending to be meeting deadlines, when all the while, you're fixated on getting to another Tuesday, on a promised call from a number that will never ring, on another lost fucking Tuesday. Elvis and Whitney sang it best, it’s just another ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ with no vacancies.  Isn’t it time for you to finally move on?