Friday, Friday, Friday,
Yaaay...this week I really needed to get to this day.
I'm been through the emotional roller coaster with turbulence,bumps and peaks.
This week,Ive witnessed two seizures in one day, observed my mother's passing day,and got great Whitney news, suddenly things seemed leveled.
How do you know when to walk away from a situation? When it drains the core of your being? What does tough love really mean? When should it be given or taken away. Are you a enabler? All this week, in my world, these questions kept coming to the forefront. Should you concern yourself with matter's that don't directly concern you?
I've always said that the twenty something years are the easiest, you're young carefree, silly, and coasting through life. Everyone in your family unit, is generally alive and well. Then the thirties comes along, and force you to start growing up, and making life choices. Your own immortality starts to creep in too, as you start to lose some of the family matriarch's, the foundation starts to lose momentum.
Through it all, we get no more than we can handle. Strength comes from presumed unreachable places. Challenge, struggle, and oh yes the 'road blocks' will always exist, lately they seem to come more and more. Everyone talks about challenges in their lives. On one hand you're glad to know that you're not experiencing it alone. In a perfect world, we could take turns with struggle, when you're weak, maybe that next shoulder will be of fearsome strength.
Think through your situation, as oppose to making rash decisions, one in which you will regret, and ultimately, may not recover from. I try to think through things with much evaluation. I had a conversation recently where someone didn't understand, why I didn't apologize about a certain situation. As I reviewed the matter, I didn't apologize, because I wasn't sorry. Mainly I didn't understand what the expectation was. Doesn't make me a bad guy, and really in those type situations, more and more communication, continues to be the irreconcilable difference.
What are you doing with your life?
P.S. The return of Legendary Pop Superstar Whitney Houston releases her new CD 'Undefeated' September 1-2009. Experience Whitney's return with your eyes OPEN!!
In situations like the one you mentioned where you're not sorry but someone is still hurt, I find it is still truthful and honoring to acknowledge intention versus impact. For instance, if I did something with good intentions but it had a negative impact, I have no qualms with saying, "I acknowledge that you were impacted badly, and for that I apologize as that was not my intention." My expectation is that a person willing and abloe to step outside of their hurt and see my sincerity will then be able to acknowledge that they hear my intentions were not to cause hurt. NOW, if my intention was to cause hurt, or if it was of no consequence once I discovered it did...I suppose no, you shouldn't apologize, lol. But I find that helps me feel that I'm being honoring to myself and that person. After all, the purpose of confronting problems is to get to a mutual resolution where you both can walk away better and back on good terms...sometimes, lol
ReplyDeleteL Boogie
Thank you Kevin. One more much needed page from your blog. Im going to
ReplyDeleteforward this one to a friend of mine also... immediately.
I love the part, where u didn't apologize, because you weren't sorry. Man i've been in that situation LOTS of times.
ReplyDeleteDarren
Wow, that was deep.
ReplyDeleteSo Sorry for your loss. Have been mighty busy lately and have been neglecting reading my Email. Much of what you wrote today has application to the difficult situation in my personal life. Avoiding "rash decisions", but at the same not compromising self or higher moral and ethical standards. We all lose a part of ourselves in long term relationships, its when the loss of boundaries and respect are lost that the relationship loses it's value. I live with a borderline personality (husband) who at times saps the very strength from me. Many of my friends ask why I stay, I simple reply because I can, but I have serious doubts as to whether I can sustain this storm anymore. So am taking an accounting of the risks and benefits of staying with a man my friends call a "monster". I will patiently think through and avoid rash decisions. At 50 Kevin the school of hard knocks seems less of a threat. Thanks for your continuing inspiration. Just the words I needed today..
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