It's Friday, and I just got paid....remember Johnny Kemp?
Happy Friday everyone.
I find myself often disappointed about the lack of structure in the workplace and in my person interactions with people. Losing my mother has changed my views on many things, and it's also made me a much more serious person. I don't laugh like I use to, or should I say, the same things are not as funny, as they once were. (Don't get me wrong, I have much to be grateful for, and many things to laugh about) I find that my focus is more on the consistency and quality of my life for the future. Simple things like punctuality is 'very' hard for some, but not for me, and the lack of prompt attentiveness pisses me off. Of course I have to retreat, and realize that I'm 'not' without fault, as I'm only human too :)
Having a word, seems to be even harder. I come from a very strict background, where structure was a part of my day to day life. It use to drive me crazy, the rules of my parents, hell I was going to bed at 8p.m. until I was seventeen. And let's not go there about homework and chores.
As a person, I've come to realize that I'm very governed to rules and regulations. Strict probably better defines me. When I was little I can recall how much patience my mother had in dealing with me, life and day to day situations, be it the workplace or the choices she made in the best interest of our family.
Being in management was always the position best suited for me, or so I thought. Now some years later, I've revisited that thought. I've since come to the realization, that's the title I no longer want. To be accountable for others and their actions, can be taxing. Some might say that I've opted for the easier way out. Why should I be accountable for someone who doesn't want to adhere to the concentration of their life, and choices. Am I wrong for thinking 'structure' gets you closer to the gratification executed. Is accomplishment personal or can it be for everyone involved? I think we 'all' get to this state in our own time and space, this seems to be the path that I'm own now. The twenties were easy, and carefree, thirties became more serious as I faced loss be it death, love, friendship or career changes. They say that your forties things become so much clearer, and I'm starting to think this is the path, I'm approaching. It's invigorating, and scary, but in a good way.
I no longer feel the need to be understood. At this point people know who I am, and the representation, has been presented. After all, when this life if over, what truly matters is the people that you've positively impacted, your memories will live on, as long as people remember you. None of this we get to take with us, yet some times we cling too tight to fundamental....at the end of day is it worth it? Structure I think, helps you to have clarity, and with structure come organization...and couldn't we all benefit from being more focused on what matters most?
What are you doing with your life?
I love it KK! I'm from the NYC. You got be be structured in that bitch of a city. Not so important in LA! But we roll with it. Lets talk soon.
ReplyDelete"I no longer feel the need to be understood" - powerful line....hope all is well!!!
ReplyDeleteVery profound. “Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteDiann
Kevin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this one. Structure is exactly what I've been contemplating the past few weeks. My sister was recently incarcerated and will be locked up for awhile. She has an 11 year old daughter with no parents. How will my neice turn out, without parents or having any structure? Structure and stability were the first things that came to mind when I knew that I had to step in and become my neice's guardian.
I hear what you're saying about managing people who do not adhere to the rules. But just think, not everyone had the structure you did when they were a child. Maybe no one ever held them accountable for their shortcomings. Structure needs to be taught and learned from an early age. I can't say that I had the best "structure" while growing up, but I did have stability. I still struggle with having structure in my life day-to-day because frankly, there just isn't enough time in the day for me to get all my sh*t done and believe me, there's a lot of sh*t that needs to be done. But I do my best and I always hold myself accountable.
Happy Friday Sweets!
TGIF to you too! I thought of something when I read your e this week and hope that you have saved all the e's you have sent (talk about structure) to print each one out and place in a cover sheet in a binder and not read them until next Jan or even better in 5 years just to see how you were thinking and feeling! Your really writing a book you know. I hate to tell you but it never gets easier necessarily its get clearer and you just don't give a shit! Things that bug you today my precious son may not in 5 yrs! And thats a good thing! I now believe we learn every single day of our lives until there is no life and then like Hazel we become larger than life and thats when we know we have made a difference. Hazel has made a huge difference for you. God bless Hazel and Kevin. You are your mamas son. I love you.
ReplyDeleteMama II
Hmmmmmmm!
ReplyDelete