Drifting/TGIF

Happy Friday Everyone,
I'm heading home to the bay today. Time to see family and friends. Trying to take time to enjoy the moment, and celebrate the now. All the mistakes made, are lessons in which have gotten us to this point. Many trials, errors and of course tribulations. Driving will allow me time to visit new thoughts, and revisit some old ones. A little bit of this, some of that, and before you know I'll be looking into the faces of my family and friends.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about being in love again. Wondering what will that entail. At this point, in my life, I often wonder, will I have the application to apply myself. Will it be worth it. My energy level is much different now. Yesterdays slights, can no longer linger, well I wouldn't allow them to. Still the heart always wants what the hell it wants, doesn't it? And lately this bleeding heart, realizes that it's still in love and probably always will be.

I can still recall the day, I broke some one's heart, and to be honest, at the time I really didn't care. It was all about me, Selfish little me. When did I become such a cold calculating person. If you live you life long enough, you'll soon learn, the door swings both wings, and the return heartbreak, cuts you to the core. You become accustomed to a lovely word called 'karma'.

What would I do differently? Could it be different? Can you leave fear behind as you engage in something new? Are you strong enough to stand up and say I NEED this, or I NEED that!! or do you find yourself into another 'familiar' situation that led to your original disenchantment? Are you vocal with your friends with the crap hits? Often times, friends are always so quick to say what they would or would not do. We've all been there before. That same friend who appears to be the pillar of strength, has vulnerabilities too. Human emotions, gets you human reactions.

A heart will break, a heart can heal, but does it ever mend completely. Residue is a dirty word, but we're all guilty of carrying it, only thing now is that, the word has changed to 'baggage'..

At the end of the day, I'm still in love. The stubborn hard head man in me, feels like hmm. I can even make this work. I want to have a longevity relationship. My peer group seem to have few successes along those lines. Have we all started to look at relationships differently? What is our approach? Maybe we're too set in our ways. That can be a hard situation to deal with, but it's something that must be addressed. At the very least, be honest and true to yourself.

Painting perfect pictures, is the aftermath that so few can own. Some sneak back into a similar situation, then go underground :) like they are too embarrassed to be human. If someone were to cheat on you, did that mean they weren't in love with you, or didn't care about you? Well did it? In a marriage when a spouse passes, are we to stay single forever? Loving feelings shared between two people should be rewarded. Wouldn't your spouse want for your happiness? Hey just some things to think about..and that's what I will be pondering on my trek to San Francisco.....don't be surpise if I end up in Dallas. I never was good at geography :)

What are you doing with your life?



P.S.S. The Game airs tonight on the CW. Check your local listings for scheduling.